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GO TO MY TUMBLR FOR MORE : http://adrianamiaow.tumblr.com/
 adriana a. © 2009 There's not a good poet I know who has not at the beck and call of his memory a vast quantity of poetry that composes his mental library. -Anthony Hecht |
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 My name's Adriana. I don't exactly have a nickname. I'm very variable, sensitive , experience one embarassing event every day, and yet surprisingly mature. Heh. I, along with 186 million other girls in the world, suffer from an inferiority complex. For me, I like to see the beauty in things. I like art. But I'm not all obsessed over it. I like the beauty of it. I have this insane fixation that I will meet my soulmate by chance. Guess I'm not a big believer in slow development. I'm in PRCS's Modern Dance, 3/5. Profiles: Facebook | friendster | |
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eemah pavi li atiqah aisyah elly |
hidayat hidayat2 hizan atiyya maliah nadia |
tracy wei chuen zaf priya sally |
qinny mus atin isabel nabila natasha |
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blogskinner 2/6♥ 6w♥ site site |
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HELLUUUUUUU!!!!! I, KHIRUL RIFAI WITH THE AWESOMENESS OF MY POWER HAS BROUGHT ADRIANA'S BLOG BACK TO LIFEEEEE! xD :) by right, the happy little girl should be in bed snugly tucked under her blanket sleeping because she has tuition tomorrow at 9. but i highly doubt she's even in bed right now cause she just texted me xD so, sayang, if you're reading this, you know that i know that you know that i want to give you a hug so badly and kiss you goodnight! ^^ so, GOODNIGHT! :D |
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SS was uh, hopeless. Planned on studying, but as usual, I did not. Shit, I seriously need to get studying. Right. PE was ohkay. did 5-2 stations. My jumping-thingy sucked. I suck at it. I got ard 150-160 ish? Zarifah was so afraid of failing, but she couldn’t find the willpower to just jump over the bloody 142 marking. Sooo, what did I do? I took her phone and placed it there. While Pavi was freaking out, and telling me NO, I just watched calmly. She jumped to 155. See? She could do it. She just kept telling herself she couldn’t. ^^. Did 33 sit ups. Lousy shit. What happened to my 50? 13 for pull ups. Suckish. SS retest was. Uhh. Why bother taking a retest when YOU DID NOT EVEN STUDY. -.- “Roll Call” by President was uh.. He reminded me of a leader of a terrorist organization. I don’t know why. Hand actions maybe. Lit was boring. MT was pointless. Lunch was much more amazing. Physics was ohkay. Maths extra lesson was… boring. Why is everything boring? Even free periods are boring. Only PE’s not boring. Righhht. And something happened after Maths that caught me completely off guard. It was sweet, really. Just totally unexpected and utterly crazy, because everyone was there. Ohkay. After recovering from that huge SHOCK, went home with Fel and Pavi. Oh, and I kissed Tracy outside detention room. Mr Choo will probably tease me about that tomorrow. Yeah, whatever. I show my affection. I’m bi! Nahhhh. I just love my Tracy Baby. Speaking of that, I have to get the cake with her tomorrow. But I have meeting at 2.15, how? HOW??!!! I want my Tracyyyyyyyyyy. *sulks* I guess I’m just not ready. |
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FINE. what the fuck! urgh. It's not about the bloody popularity. What is wrong with you?!!!?! And no, I don't give a fuck about "popularity". Yeah my grades are like shit. Yay me. Yup. Lock me up at home. I'm better here. Go out money, stay at home money. Fine. Why am I existing? Sheesh. I bet you'll save a fortune. Geez. Take this away from me. That's what you want right? Fine. Go and personally make me quit the Council Board. Right now I DON'T GIVE A FUCK. Lock me up and program me to study. Right now I feel like disappearing off the face of the Earth. Take every inch of happiness. And I'll return to what I once was. I don't wanna go there again but it looks like I have no choice. I can feel darkness approaching as I speak.
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So sad. But true. "Spend a lot of time with the ocean. Because the ocean forces you to dream. And I insist my girl becomes a dreamer." |
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I don't know if I can handle it. I don't know if I can handle people judging me. I'm really scared. Afraid. Tired. Messed up. I don't know what to do. |
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Hello. I couldn't sleep last night. So I cried for 30 mins just so I'd feel tired. That's my talent from young. I can cry for ages xD Woke up. Didn't feel so good. Did flag, aisyah say why suddenly shoot up? I didn't quite care really. No mood. Zaf took one look at me and immediately said "Sal?" Haha. 3 months can change everything huh? Upper Sec had to stay back for reading? This is what happened when we finished. Joseph : *suddenly realizing that he's sitting next to me* EHHH! MALAY! (: Me: Yes, hi, Joseph (: *pats head* Joseph: (: Haha, very cute. Chem was like uh -.- She gave us a test. We're like WTH? She says we must do independent learning. Yeah right, we will. Gosh! Just teach us! Please. Gahhhh. Ben was like, "Wake me up when you're done." I gave him the "Do I look like I know anything?" face. Maths was okay. We cut straws. LOL. Ms Ong: Kay class, get into pairs. Move your tables. Me: *thinking, shud i pair with benedict?* Ben: ADRIANA! Come here, come here (: ! Me: o.O? Then me, Ben, Benedict, Sandra crapped alot. Haha. We were like, so cool sit together. Like primary sch all over again! Suddenly Ben like moodswing -.- Happy sad angry >.> So who's the victim? Me lah duh ._. He say my triangle ugly. Sobsssss..... Spent my recess with Aisyah. Feels weird now. Takes some getting used to. Ohwell... Eng was spent crapping too. I made my ugly triangle into a heart. Me: *shows it to Sandra* Sandra: Awwww! Khirul : Eww, what's that? Your heart is so cheap! And so - Me: :( shuddap! Me: *gives Jolina the heart* this is my heart. it's not perfect but it's all I have. Jolina: I don't accept! *tears the heart* OUCH! Me: O.O? Jolina: The stapler bullet hurt me :( Me: That's whatcha get for breaking my heart! Sandra: What is love? Benedict : Sex. Everyone : O.O? Me: Jolina, what is love? Jo: Love is uhhh. feelings.. and uhhh. affection! Benedict : ASK ME ASK ME! Me: Okaaaay, benedict, what's love? Benedict : FOOD! Me: -.-! Ben you sleeping? *Ben nods* Me: Ben what is love? Ben: *silence* Jo: He sleeping la! Me: Ben you sleeping? *Ben nods* -.-!!!!!!!! Phy was okay. PC was uh, crap. We got lectured. But we made it funny, haha! Went 7/11 with Syah to eat. Saw all the 1/8 boys. Tsk tsk tsk. Haha! Dance was uh... Pointless, I swear. But i got 2 kisses from TracyBaby! 1 from Marisssaaaaa! 1 from Grace! 1 from VanessaLS! Weeheeee!~ Happy happy. Kisses make me happy, i dno why. Haha! Okay, that's my day. Oh, and Ben smiles like a puppy. HAHHAHA! Random thought I swear. I realized why I felt so horrible today. My head kept spinning. Which is bad. Bad bad bad. Need to sleep more. But I can't seem to. ( I don't want to dream of you. I should just let this go. Simple as that. It feels like I'm going to. Slowly......) I regret it now. I really regret it. Imagine, if I didn't go with you, my life would have taken a whole new path. What's done is done. --- I feel like crap today. I feel so used, I feel so down, I feel so insecure, I feel like crap! I'm crumbling inside. I hate myself. I need others to tell me things I want to hear. I can't seem to muster any amount of self-confidence. Fucked up. Haiz. Ultimate low. Urgh. Face it. You feel like crap. They make you feel like crap. People keep reminding you that you are crap. God, save me. Haiz.
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I had 4 dreams today. You were, once again, in two. That totals 5 dreams of you. Get out of my head, and my life if you don't plan on staying. Please?
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