Rain on autumn leaves

10th Anniversary was fun. Really, it was. Megan did my hair, thanks. My hair's really hard to do coz it's so short, lol.

Mdm Rozila was encouraging.

Her : Okay girls, let's go, you can do it.
Me: ... No cheer ah, cher?

Hugged everyone before going on stage. I even asked Mdm Rozila for a comforting hug coz I was shaking.

What if I fell? What if my shoe slipped off? What if I didn't put enough hairspray?
What if I forgot my steps?
What if what if what if?

Melrize was scared so I hugged her real tight!

When the song started, all my inhibitions just slipped away, hidden behind my mask.
It was really fun, I didn't forget anything, the spotlight was comforting for once.
Adrenaline rush.

It felt... pretty much like acting, you know?
There's this character you have to portray in a certain way, that's not you, but still you.
You have to throw in passion, feel it, feel the music, feel the steps.

That's how I felt. It's really incomprehensible.
You just have to feel it.
The satisfaction when the crowd applauds and the curtains close.

The actors were really nice, they comforted us and said we were awesome.

Oh, oh. There's this guy from IT who's obsessed with thinking that I'm Nazri's girlfriend.
From Speech Day till now, I have no idea what his name is.

Him : EH NAZRI! Your girlfriend!
Nazri : Oh, really?
Me: *Rolls eyes*

We ran to the dance studio and SCREAMED!~
We begged to do the dance one last time.
Camwhored and such.

Just like that, and it's over.
Mdm Rozila's right.
Once you dance, you always feel like more.

Went down, it was pretty dark, i admit i was scared.
People might say i'm such a scaredy-cat, but I.... have a pretty good reason.
Anyway, Pavi, Atiqah, Liyana ran up to me and went "YOU'RE HOT, HOT HOT HOT!"
And Syaz jumped on me (LITERALLY), I almost fell in laughter.

Everyone was screaming " You were awesome" and stuff, then we kana chased away coz we were so noisy LOL.
The people eating were like looking at us inquisitively. Hehe.

I was kinda sad when I went home because :
1) That.
2) One night of being a diva, and it's back to boring school.
3) I took the bus home with my makeup and rock solid hair.
4) My mum LAUGHED at me.
5) I felt so unacknowledged back at home.

Fine, I'm an attention seeker. Sue me.
It's just that these days, you've no idea how dejected I've felt.

You finally glanced at me.
For that one split second at which I turned and walked away.
I know what I feel and what you feel.
I always knew anyway, there was no room for me.
I just didn't really think it mattered.

I've stopped writing poetry for the moment.
It's really grating on me that suddenly everyone's doing it.
I don't feel so special anymore.
I don't want to compare my poetry to other's, and don't want to be compelled to do it,
because those are my sincere words.

I don't want to feel anymore dejected than I already am, anyway.

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I'm so childish.
I still believe in fairytales.

When I was 11, I believed Hagrid would take me away to Hogwarts and I'd find out I was so superly gifted.

I once thought I'd get pricked by a needle when I'm 16 and the entire world will fall into slumber.
You know, La Belle Bois Dormant.

Haha, actually, I only do that when I'm bored.
Lol. Maybe I should do a Disney marathon on my birthday.
That would be fun.
Hahahhaa!