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 adriana a. © 2009 There's not a good poet I know who has not at the beck and call of his memory a vast quantity of poetry that composes his mental library. -Anthony Hecht |
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 My name's Adriana. I don't exactly have a nickname. I'm very variable, sensitive , experience one embarassing event every day, and yet surprisingly mature. Heh. I, along with 186 million other girls in the world, suffer from an inferiority complex. For me, I like to see the beauty in things. I like art. But I'm not all obsessed over it. I like the beauty of it. I have this insane fixation that I will meet my soulmate by chance. Guess I'm not a big believer in slow development. I'm in PRCS's Modern Dance, 3/5. Profiles: Facebook | friendster | |
affiliates
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eemah pavi li atiqah aisyah elly |
hidayat hidayat2 hizan atiyya maliah nadia |
tracy wei chuen zaf priya sally |
qinny mus atin isabel nabila natasha |
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memories
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Friday, November 6, 2009 @ 11/06/2009 04:41:00 PM
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I am no masterpiece where innocence is painted green. Isn't it strange to think that you created all of me? Done by the hands of a broken artist. You painted black where my naked heart is. I finally know what wrong is. Now I finally know what wrong is. Carved like a stone with your hands still shaking. On display through a soul still breaking. Aren't you proud you're the one that made me? Aren't you proud you're the one that made me? Those were the words Huzaifah said to me. I admit, I was totally taken aback. I mean, I never thought someone would actually say that about me. No one has, really. Said that I was weak. And soft. Really got me thinking. Halimah's mum said smth around the lines of that, too. I have no idea how I got to this state. Submissive. I used to not give a shit about what people think of me. I used to hang out with guys with piercings and who smoke. Yesterday, I had loads of fun. Until I got called up when I broke my curfew. Started to cry again. I'm such a crying machine now. It's amazing, in a way. I don't know. Maybe I'm just sick of being a good girl. Just tired of having to behave around people. Tired of being told that what others think of you is crucial. Tired of being well-mannered. Tired of keeping my opinions shut away. Tired of appeasing everyone but myself. --------- Anyway, yesterday was AWESOME. Except for uh, certain parts. Haha. Met up with Khai. Went to get the food from imah's house. We stood in the rain with half-exposed mee to flag a cab. xD When we reached there, me = chaos. I went around shouting "I LOVE YOU!" or "SARANGHAE!". Hohoho. MJ WAS ON TV, started dancing like a maniac. Best part: TRUTH OR DARE! Khai had to jump into the pool. End up more than once. Ding Han got dared to ask the lifeguard why we cannot wear shirt into the pool! Li got drenched coz she had to get showered, hahaha! Some guy ask Pavi for her number. For me, I busy playing FIFA 10, so I just pick truth. Haha. Was raining, so we were bored. Khai bbq starting skills suck. Haha! Teachers came with sushi, yada yada. Me, being the now coward that I am, refused to jump into the pool. But I did. Huahuahua. Couldn't climb out because my clothes absorbed SUPER ALOT of water. Wet. Wet. Wet. Cold. Dried off in the room. Showed the girls my choreo for B&G. Had super huge amounts of fun. Not to mention the same amount of leftover food. Terpakse bawak balik. Imah's mum sent me to interchange, took bus from there. Went home. Almost went to sleep. Then, mum came in and said "Aku dah kate kan, kalau kakak taknak makan then you simpan the lauk." I was like.. Wth? She duwan eat then she simpan luhhh. I never say, just nvm, i go keep the lauk. Then sleeptime. Today my mum ask me go buy Daun Ketumba, which is coriander. I purposely say I dno what that is. Haha! She just called me out and said " This is coriander. Smell. Next time you go buy for me. I have to go alllll the way go buy." Ok, I know it's mean, but I'm feeling mean. And tired. And I want to go out also luh, then dunnid help. My sisters do that. Come home at 11+ and I have to simpan lauk. Not to mention the other chores. Dalah, pissed off man. Ok I'm done with my post. Haha! Li's words really struck me. I don't know what to do. I know what's wrong and what's right. But as always, I'm just weak right? Can't make my stand clear. I don't know okay. I don't know. |