Rain on autumn leaves

I'm sick and bored, so I thought I would write.

But because I'm sick, I can't really think.

So what I did , was I took out my poetry books from before, P6, and Sec 1 and 2.

I really liked some of them.

Of course, I can't put ALL here.

So, while I'm coughing my heart out here, I'm sharing my past with you.

Alright, here goes.

From P6:

Can't you see how numb I am?

Or is it because I'm hiding it?

Locked away in my heart,

So no one can ever see

The secrets I hold within.

Laughing away with my friends,

When they do

Trying to fit in

It's like putting on a mask

You don't like.

At night you try your best

Not to cry on the outside

You try to take off your mask

But it's already a part of you.

(We are made by our mistakes, our lies, and our actions.)

Sec 1

I don't know why, but I didn't write much here.

I think it's all in my blog.

Yup, it is. Found some.

Lol, lazy to write. I think most of them are about Qayyum.

If you're reading this Qayyum, shut up. Haha!

I think our relationship is a funny one.

From abang adik to together to enemies to this-weird-teasing-phase. Haha.

have i forgotten how to cry?
i still feel this pain in my heart,
though it's not a cut.
i feel sad, yet i feel fine.
what is this?
i always knew myself as a weak person who would cry whenever i wanted to.
as sad as i am, my tears remain in my eyes.
and they fall back as if retreating.
what is this, i ask?
am i simply too tired of crying?
am i so sick of it, for i've drowned myself in it for too long?
whatever it is, i'm glad.

try to understand me.
i don't know what's wrong with me.
i love you and all, but this just isn't working out.
i mean, what is the point of relationships, really?
isn't it to get married in the end?
what is the point of relationships now?
you'll just end up hurt anyways.
where can this possibly go anyway?
you'll be gone in about a year.
" What is love to you...." you ask.
i don't know.
i guess i never knew.
or maybe i'm just an Ice Queen.

Sec 2

"Although I know,

that he won't show,

I'll continue waiting

for the snow.

Until it rained,

and summer came,

I didn't stop waiting

for the next train."

Here was where I started writing songs.

"She sat down by the river,

crying,

crying.

Her tears so wet and slow.

Torn pictures,

flowing,

flowing down the stream.

Away and away.

Today she said goodbye,

her sad memories,

disappear,

somewhere I can't see you.

So she sang herself a sad song,

to make herself feel better,

a stubborn torn in the bottom of her heart.

Chrous:

She knows she can't erase him,

But she'll try.

Oh, she'll try.

She said, "There's nothing you can do to stop me,

from forgetting you in time.

A wound's meant for someone else,

to heal and keep inside."

I never thought that you could save me,

from myself,

my wounds,

my pain."

Okay, I can still remember the tune. Omg. Haha.

Sec 3

So here I am now.

With each step you take,

you take a deep breath,

hoping it isn't your last.

Sometimes you glance back,

reminisce and wonder in envy.

Sometimes you lose precious things,

your friends,

your values,

your conscience,

your innocence.

Shakespeare once said, "The world is but a stage , and all the men and woman are but mere players, They have their exits and their entrances,

And one man in his time plays many parts."

There are no rehearsals in life.

Each step you take should be a Full-Up.

And you should give your best performance.